The easiest case I ever had was one where the wife was the one having an affair. Her low life boyfriend took video of them having sex. When she dumped him for someone else, he sent the video to the husband. Having evidence like that is very rare. I had another case where the wife was involved with a woman. She and the lady took still photos of themselves engaging in cunnilingus. In the case of homosexual, extramarital relationships the terms are either sodomy or buggery rather than adultery but the legal consequences in a divorce are the same.
So, if you are not lucky enough to have undeniable photographic or video evidence, how can you prove that the spouse is committing adultery? Back in the 1950′s, before no-fault divorce, proving adultery was necessary much more often than it is today. And the method lawyers used then is still in use today. You hire a private investigator who observes and documents the cheating spouse’s behavior.
The investigator’s observations of the passionate kiss in the parking lot followed by the stroll into the hotel holding hands are circumstantial evidence. Public displays of affection are helpful but not enough by themselves. If the investigator then sees them go up to the room and not come out until the next day, then you have enough to meet the requirement of clear and convincing evidence. One of the things you look for in an investigator is the ability to take photographs or video that can be used in court. If it’s out of focus or too dark or only shows the car, they haven’t really earned their fee.
Often people call and say they have emails or text messages they have somehow captured. That sort of evidence can be helpful but won’t usually be enough by itself. You really have to have someone observe them under circumstances where the only reasonable inference is that they are engaging in sexual activity, specifically oral, genital or anal intercourse. So save that evidence, but just understand you will have to put it together with evidence of them being alone together for some period of time.
The other path is to try to force the paramour to testify. If they are married, they will take the fifth amendment and refuse to answer the questions. But if they aren’t, I have known judges to rule that they have to answer the questions. The paramour’s testimony is going to be sufficient unless there is some strong reason to doubt their honesty.
Sometimes there are friends or relatives of the cheating spouse who are willing to testify about admissions the spouse made to them or behavior they witnessed directly. It is not uncommon for someone close to the cheater to disapprove enough to provide the necessary evidence.
Robert Jeffries is a very experienced lawyer with more than 25 years in active practice. He is a graduate of Dickinson College and the Georgetown University Law Center, where he was an editor of the Georgetown Law Journal. During law school and following his graduation, he spent five years representing criminal defendants in Washington, DC. He then spent ten years in Los Angeles representing individuals and corporate clients in a variety of business litigation matters.
Since 1998 Mr. Jeffries has devoted his practice to Virginia family law. Because of his prior business litigation experience, he is very skilled in helping clients deal with the financial issues that come up in divorce. From quickly assessing the economics of a case to preparing financial exhibits for use at trial, his prior business litigation experience gives his clients a key advantage.
Because so many of the firm’s clients are not Virginia residents, Mr. Jeffries has extensive experience with interstate child custody cases and the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act. This experience has enabled him, in appropriate cases, to stop a child custody case from going forward in Virginia and require it to be litigated in the client’s home state. In other situations, he has been successful in keeping a child custody case in Virginia where it was to his client’s advantage.
Mr. Jeffries is a highly skilled legal writer and very at home making arguments in the Virginia Court of Appeals and the Virginia Supreme Court.
He has always emphasized respect for the firm’s clients and delivering maximum value for them. His many years of experience in the courtroom enable him to devise cost-effective strategies for achieving the client’s goals.
He is very accessible to his clients. He responds to phone calls and emails promptly. Because he has many clients serving literally all over the world, he is used to taking calls outside of the usual working hours.
Mr. Jeffries is admitted to practice in Virginia, California, New York, and the District of Columbia. He speaks Spanish and Russian fluently.
